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Female Fiasco: RIP WINE

Dec 18, 2014 -- 7:10am

Yesterday was one of those days. 

 

One of those days that seems like it will never end!

 

One of those days where you have a million and one things to do.

 

That was my day yesterday.

 

So I was really looking forward to having wine for dinner.

 

Do not judge me.

 

So I get home around 7 after a longgggggg day.

 

I go to my kitchen and there it is, my dinner, a bottle of red wine ready to be opened and I’m about to be a happy girl.

 

Now I’ve opened many bottles of wine…MANY. A LOT.

 

I could do it with my eyes closed.

 

Last night, the unthinkable happened…the cork broke!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

I’m down on my knees asking WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYY?

 

So I picked myself back up and told myself I could not let this cork get the best of me.

 

I put the cork screw back in…this made things worse.

 

At this point the crazy and the panic set it. I’m frantic at this point.

 

The next few minutes are a little blurry to me, I’m not really sure what happened but the next thing I knew there was pieces of cork, a fork, a spoon and a steak knife on my counter…the broken cork was floating in the bottle and there was red wine spilled all over the place.

 

I have no idea what happened.

 

So I just pretended like nothing happened…got a wine glass and poured myself some dinner.

 

I demolished this cork so much that I couldn’t drink the wine because of all the little pieces.

 

I wept as I had to pour the whole bottle down the drain.

 

This was a first and an all time low for my life.

 

Sad day.

 

RIP WINE

 

Luckily, a wino is always prepared with a back up bottle. That worked out just fine. Phew.

 

If you ever find yourself with a broken wine cork…I feel your pain.

 

But here are some steps from EHOW.com you should take to remedy the situation…do not panic like I did and end up with wine all over your kitchen counter.

 

1. Unscrew the corkscrew from the cork.

 

2. Try screwing the corkscrew into the cork again. Screw it in about a half-dozen times until it feels like it has a good grip.

 

3. Pull the cork out gently. If you're lucky it should come out like a whole cork. If it doesn't work after a couple tries, or it breaks up, go on to the next step.

 

4.Push the broken cork into the bottle. Use the handle of a wood spoon or screwdriver or something like that. Do it gently so the wine doesn't splash.

 

5. Place a filter like a cheese cloth or a coffee filter over a decanter or pitcher or another container that can hold the wine.

 

6. Fasten the filter with string or a rubber band.

 

7. Pour the wine through the filter slowly. The filter will catch any pieces of cork that are floating in the wine.

 

A coffee filter to drain the wine without the cork would’ve been key to know last night; I could’ve saved that bottle of wine!

 

May you never have to go through the trauma of a broken cork!

Female Fiasco: Coffee and Butter

Dec 17, 2014 -- 7:10am

I’ve been hearing about this new craze for a few weeks now…I haven’t really read too much in to it, because honestly even the headline makes me gag.

 

Brace yourself…

 

Drinking coffee with butter in it.

 

Yea, I know, ew.

 

Here’s how it works, it’s really quite simple…you add 2 tablespoons of butter in to your morning coffee.

 

The buttered coffee is said to boost your energy levels, keep you feeling more mentally alert and promote weight loss.

 

The Daily Mail reports that the buttered coffee was “formulated by American health guru Dave Asprey who discovered yak butter tea while traversing the Tibetan mountains. Mr Asprey says the coffee will give you energy for 'six hours if you need it', programs the body to 'burn fat for energy all day long' and 'improves cognitive function'.”

 

“According to Mr Asprey, butter contains all the benefits of healthy milk fat with none of the damaging proteins found in cream, making for 'the creamiest, most satisfying' cup of coffee.  Advocates swear they feel mentally alert and top of their game, able to fire on all cylinders.”

 

I don’t think I would be able to stomach it let alone feel energized from it!

 

GAG

 

Some critics who have tried it say they feel uncomfortable after drinking it…DUHHHHH you just drank butter in your coffee!

 

My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

 

Like any new fad, some people swear by it and some people say it’s a huge scam.

 

I personally will just let this one be and not even think about trying it.

 

Pass. 

Female Fiasco: THANK YOU

Dec 16, 2014 -- 7:10am

 

Ladies, it happens all the time, to all of us…every time actually, without fail.

 

We miss a spot shaving.

 

Lets talk about one of the most frustrating things in the world.

 

You are at work and you find a spot you missed shaving last night.

 

&^%*#&(*$(*^(*U)$(($^&#*&^$

 

Something along those lines.

 

Realizing you missed a spot shaving is one of the most frustrating things that happens to us!

 

What if we could take care of that little spot we missed as soon as we discover it!?

 

“Leila Kashani, of Los Angeles, California, has created the Sphynx, a sleek, compact razor that includes soap, two blades and a refillable water container with a spray nozzle.”

 

Now that is a woman after my own heart!

 

Thank you Leila! You are truly genius!

 

Leila used Kickstarter to raise the money to begin production on the Sphynx and they should be available for purchase for $16.99 in April!

 

Sign me up for 5 of them!

 

Finally, those missed spots will not defeat us!

 

Brava Leila, Brava!

Female Fiasco: Keeping Gifts

Dec 15, 2014 -- 7:10am

There are only 10 days until Christmas!!! I have not started shopping at all!!! YIKES, better get on it!

 

I always have a problem figuring out what to get everyone for Christmas…well any occasion that requires gifts really…I just never know what to get my people!

 

So sometimes when I’m shopping for people whether it be for Christmas or for Birthdays, I find myself loving what I got for someone and I really want to keep it for myself!

 

I know this terrible!

 

I have at some point kept a gift I had bought for someone else and I use it frequently!

 

I will not disclose who the gift was for or what the gift was…to make matters worse, this person has complimented me on the object more than once.

 

Oh you love this *^(@*#)(*#...Thank you, I love it too! And then I feel really crappy about myself.

 

If you are like me and have kept a gift you bought for someone else, don’t feel too bad…we aren’t the only ones who do this!

 

A new study from Female First has found that 30% of people have kept a gift they intended to give to someone!

 

Phew, I’m glad I’m not alone on this.

 

So while I’ve only kept a gift once…I do often buy myself something while I’m Christmas shopping.

 

Again, not that great.  That is not the reason for the season Tory.

 

But I do it! I just feel that fighting all the traffic and crowds is stressful so I like to reward myself with a victory prize for making it through the craziness of the season!

 

It’s often something small…like a movie or nail polish…but still come on you’re supposed to be Christmas shopping for other people.

 

It turns out half of us also buy something for themselves while Christmas shopping!

 

Again, PHEWWWWW!

 

Have you ever kept a gift you bought for someone else? Do you buy yourself things while you’re Christmas shopping? What do you treat yourself with?! Email me at Tory@1017thebull.com or tweet me @ToryTheBull!

Female Fiasco: Fruit Cake

Dec 09, 2014 -- 7:10am

I don’t do fruit cakes.

 

I’ve never received one. I’ve never given one. I have never tasted one.

 

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever even been in the presence of a fruitcake.

 

To me, they are mythical objects that I’ve only seen in movies…like unicorns…and quite frankly they look disgusting. No offense if you like them.

 

But I have heard that they last forever.

 

FOR-EV-ER!

 

Is this true? If so, I really want nothing to do with them.

 

Well according to The Daily Mail, “The U.S. Department for Agriculture advises fruit cakes can last up to three months in the fridge and up to a year in the freezer.But food safety experts believe they could last even longer than this.”

 

Well, well, well!

 

“'All of these dried and candied ingredients have what we call "low water activity" - meaning they have very little moisture available,' said Dr Ben Chapman, a food safety researcher at North Carolina State University, U.S. 'Low water activity is important because many microorganisms, including foodborne illness-causing bacteria, need moisture in order to reproduce. 'In practical terms, this makes most fruitcakes extremely shelf stable, so they would be safe to eat for a long time – a really long time,' he said. 'But it might taste pretty bad.' 

 

Because I’m sure they taste good otherwise?

Female Fiasco: Living Separately

Dec 08, 2014 -- 7:10am

Spending the rest of your life with one person is quite terrifying!

 

Literally every day, for the rest of your life…that person will be there.

 

I have been telling my friends for years that when the time comes for me to get married, I don’t want to live with my husband.

 

This is strange, I know…but I like to be by myself some times…and so I would prefer he live elsewhere so I don’t get suffocated by having someone around my all the time.

 

Well this might actually be a thing that becomes pretty common!

 

There is a couple, Claire and David, they have been together for 14 years…and married for the past 2. 

 

They do not live together!

 

I knew this was a great idea!!

 

They insist they are happy and have the perfect marriage!

 

The couple told The Daily Mail, “‘We never take one another’s presence for granted and spend more time together than most of our married friends, who tend to pass their evenings in different rooms anyway. The time we spend together is far more special this way.’ Firefighter David agrees: ‘I adore Claire and always look forward to seeing her, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to wake up beside her every morning.”

 

This is perfect…they never get sick of each other!

 

The family has dinner together every night and then they retreat to their own houses and enjoy the rest of the evening alone.

 

“Two years ago, when David proposed with a beautiful diamond ring from Tiffany’s, instead of saying ‘Yes’, Claire’s first words were: ‘I don’t have to live with you, do I?’‘David’s face was a picture,’ says Claire, laughing at the memory. ‘He said “God, no!”’

 

That is perfect!!

 

They will probably be together longer than a lot of people who live together!

 

Good for them!

 

Dear Future Husband, we will not be living together. Love, Tory. 

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