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Female Fiasco: Caricature

Aug 22, 2014 -- 7:10am

Sometimes people come up with great ideas…the Oreo…the double stuffed Oreo…the Reese’s Peanut Butter Oreo…all GREAT ideas!

 

Sometimes people come up with horrible ideas…like the selfie.

 

But I would take selfies any day over an idea one woman had...

 

Krystina is 30…and when she was 15 she got a caricature of herself.

 

A caricature, by definition, is “a picture, description, or imitation of a person or thing in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect.”

 

Well Krystina fell in love with the caricature of herself and decided she wanted to look exactly like it…and she’s spent the last 15 years doing just that.

 

*crickets*

 

We all know this a bad idea already.

 

She has spent over $200,000 trying to look like her caricature.

 

According to The Daily Mail, “This has included five breast augmentations, lip injections, botox, teeth whitening and semi-permanent make-up. Salon owner Krystina even has heart-shaped nipples to complete the 'cartoon' look.”

 

And she’s still not done…she has more procedures planned to look as close to the picture as possible.

 

The process this has been is a lengthy one…you can read about Krystina’s transformation process at The Daily Mail.

 

I’m not trying to knock this girl…if this is what makes her love who she is…then good for her!  I’m envious that she would be that comfortable in her skin.

 

I just think it’s a little too much…she was beautiful before all of the surgery…now she looks beyond plastic…and surprised all the time since her eyebrows are so arches and high on her face. 

 

To each their own, but I think this was a bad idea…and 15 is too young to make life changing decisions like that… but at 30 she is still happy with her choice.  Hopefully she still likes it at 60!

Female Fiasco: Train Men to Multi Task

Aug 21, 2014 -- 7:10am

Women can do a million things at once…make dinner, while doing laundry, holding their kids, helping with homework, while on the phone…etc

 

It’s a well known fact that men do not multi-task as well as womem!

 

Sorry guys, its just the way it is.

 

But now there is a way to train men to be better multi taskers!

 

The Daily Mail reports, “Researchers found that the brain's function can be improved when multi-tasking by alternating the amount of attention given to jobs, rather than people trying to complete two tasks equally at the same time.”

 

“Brain plasticity refers to its ability to change function over time and attentional control is an individual's capacity to choose what they pay attention to and what they ignore. The team discovered that targeted training on plasticity and attentional control helped the participants develop their ability to multi-task.  However, performing two tasks simultaneously was not what improved this skill, according to the researchers. They said that for the exercises, the research participants instead had to modulate the amount of attention given to each task.”

 

So ladies…in between all your multi-tasking and all the things about your men that you are trying to change…now you have the ability to make them in to multi-taskers.

 

Although it seems like a lot of work…and you can probably get all the things you would have your men do once they multitask done in a quicker amount of time!

 

But if you feel the need to torture yourself…good luck.

Female Fiasco: Location Location Location

Aug 20, 2014 -- 7:10am

Anyone can get married in a church and have a reception at a hotel…or other common venue.

 

One couple took their nuptials to the next level!

 

At Michigan International Speedway’s Victory Lane!

 

Now that’s a victory!!!

 

Wait it gets better…the president of the Michigan International Speedway, Roger Curtis, officiated the wedding!!

 

The location holds a special place in the couples heart…the bride, Barbra, is a US Air Force Veteran suffering from PTSD…she suffered a breakdown in 2013…the first public place the couple went post breakdown was the Michigan International Speedway and is one of the places Barbra feels comfortable!!

 

Curtis worked some racing references in to the couples vows, “'To love and cherish, whether Kyle Busch wins or not,' he said, referring to a NASCAR star admired by the couple. 'From qualifying to victory lane, Chevy or Ford and restrictor plates or not.'”

 

The bride also got to ride a golf cart around the track before the ceremony!!

 

This just warms my heart!!

 

Read the full story at TheDailyMail.com

Congratulations to the couple!

Female Fiasco: Ignore No More

Aug 19, 2014 -- 7:10am

Do your kids ignore your calls? Does it grind your gears?!

 

I generally always answer calls from my parents…there are times when I don’t have service and they need to get ahold of me…that panic is real on their end.  Calls, texts, emails, frustrated voice mail. Sorry parents.

 

So I can imagine the frustration parents face daily when their kids ignore their calls…kids, comeeee onnnnn…answer your parents.

 

One mom decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

 

The “Ignore No More” App was created by a Houston mom, Sharon Standifird.

 

The app allows parents to remotely lock their kid’s phones until they get in contact with the parents who are being ignored!

 

OUCH!! You should’ve just answered your mom when she called the first time.

 

The Today Show reports, “Here’s how it works: Parents install “Ignore No More” on their phones and set up a list of contacts the child can call when their phone is locked. When you decide to lock your child’s phone, he or she can only call the contacts on the special list you’ve set up. Those contacts can provide a password to unlock the phone. The child can also still always call 911. Standifird promises that it is “virtually impossible” for kids to remove the app from their phones.”

 

Kids, do yourself a favor…just answer the call from your parents…it will be 30 seconds of your time so they know what time you’re coming home for dinner.

Female Fiasco: A Bird Poo Facial

Aug 18, 2014 -- 7:10am

Lotions and potions and pills-OH MY!

 

Lotion and potions and pills-OH MY!

 

Women try some weird beauty trends…I have put pumpkin on my face…and a plethora of other types of facials that use milk, egg whites, toothpaste, jello, etc. 

 

I know, it’s weird…but we do these weird things anyway in hopes of extra glow, smoothness, etc.

 

There have been some very strange beauty regiments throughout history! DailyMail.com has compiled some of the strangest…and trust me, you won’t feel so bad about putting honey and milk all over your face, I promise.

 

A Bird Poo Facial (Yea suddenly I’m not even embarrassed about smearing pumpkin all over my face)-“ Ever wanted a porcelain-like complexion but didn’t know how to achieve it? Apparently, the magic ingredient is nightingale droppings, which have been used as a cleanser for centuries. Today, renowned spas are rubbing a pungent paste of excrement, rice bran and water on devotees' faces, including Victoria Beckham and Tom Cruise.”

 

Urine Mouthwash (EWWWWWWWWW)-“Because urine contains ammonia, the Ancient Romans believed it was the perfect mouthwash. In fact, due to its ability to disinfect teeth, prevent cavities and making sure your teeth are pearly white, it was an active ingredient in mouthwash until the 18th century.”

 

Thai Face Slap Massage-“As the name suggests this treatment literally involves a beauty therapist slapping you in the face. Some kneading and massaging of the area also takes place, but a good hard slap improves circulation and brings out a healthy flush apparently.”

 

UMMM NO, Thank you…I’ll stick with a Swedish Massage

 

Fire Treatment-“In everyday life you usually try to avoid fire, but in China they are actively seeking it out with this increasingly popular beauty treatment.  As part of a treatment known as Huo Liao, an alcohol soaked towel and special ‘elixir’ is placed over the problem area, such as the face, legs, or back, and then lit on fire. After a few seconds, it is quickly extinguished before the heat becomes unbearable. The treatment stimulates skin, reducing dullness, sagging an wrinkles, and experts believe it helps can even cure the common cold. Just watch out for burns.”

 

OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!

 

I’m definitely just going to stick to your standard cucumber mask. Yes, definitely going to just stick with that.

 

You can read about some of the other strange beauty trends at TheDailyMail.com!

Female Fiasco: Arguments Guys Will NEVER Win

Aug 15, 2014 -- 7:10am

Women are complex creatures…and I feel bad for the guys that put up with out S***!

 

We sometimes put you through the ringer…okay, more than sometimes.

 

So while we can acknowledge that we put you through a lot of S***…we aren’t going to stop. Soooo just accept that you will have to deal with it…and we will argue with you…and you won’t win. 

 

Even if you think you won, you didn’t. 

 

There are certain fights that are universal in relationships…you will have these fights in every relationship you have…and the woman will win them. Hands down, all the time.

 

Elite Daily came up with a list of 15 arguments guys will NEVER win…here are the top 5!

 

1. The “Be Honest” Fight-guys, by now I feel you should know that when we say “be honest, does this make me look fat?”…or “be honest (fill in the blank)”...we don’t really want you to be honest…because trust us, we know the honest answer.  We know the answer-if you tell us the truth we are pissed and if you lie to us, we know you’re lying. Therefore, you will not win.

 

2. The “I can’t read your mind fight”-“Whats wrong?” “Nothing, I’m fine”…lies. We are not fine and we expect you to know we aren’t fine.  It’s really not fair of us to do to you but we do it.

 

3. The “I’m drunk and irrational and need attention fight”-not our finest moments…you 100% absolutely will not win anything while we are in this state…picture a toddler throwing a tantrum…you just go in to survival mode and hope we pass out soon.

 

4.The “I Found Something On Your Phone That I Didn’t Like” Fight-and if your phone is locked…LOOK OUT. 

 

5. The “Why Are You Wishing Your Ex A Happy Birthday?” Fight-Even if you have remained friends or dated yearssss ago…maybe don’t maintain a friendship.

 

Guys, trust me, we know these are ridiculous things to fight over…WE KNOW…but they happen in every relationship!  You won’t win.  You’re life would be soooo much easier if you just accept that these fights happen in most relationships and if you know ahead of time you cannot win…you can come out of the fight with as little frustration and anger as possible.

 

Good Luck!

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