We are about to enter the most cutthroat shopping time of the year!
While I support everyone’s hustle to get the best deals…I will be the first to admit I splurge sometimes on things I don’t really need!
I’m a professional shopper, I can convince myself and enable others to “go ahead and get that new dress! TREAT YO SELF!”
Sometimes I need someone to slap me across the face and say STOP TORY YOU DON’T NEED 3 OF THE SAME DRESS!
I do need it! I do!
The new smart bag asks you “Do you really need this?” and gets louder as you pull your credit cards!
WHAT A NIGHTMARE THIS WOULD BE!
The voice is described as annoyingly friendly.
This would be awful!
I guarantee I’d yell right back, YES I DO NEED THIS NOW SHUT UP!
YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I’M GROWN, I WORK HARD FOR MY MONEY!
Well this is one item not making it on my Christmas list!
Women are always right.
Okay, okay…I’m not totally delusional…women are right 90% of the time.
I would say that is a fair balance.
Am I right?
Of course I am.
Even men are starting to realize (and admit) that we are right about a lot of things!
We’re just going to address a few of them!
Ladies, show this list to your men!
‘Speeding won’t get you there any faster’
Trust us, the 10 extra minutes it takes to get to your destination is less than the amount of time it takes a cop to write you a ticket.
Author Clint Carters says, “I’ve learned that if a woman comments on my driving, it means I’m probably driving like an asshole.”
Clint’s words, not mine.
When it comes to moisturizing…
“Here’s the best grooming tip I can offer another guy: Get a woman in your life. She will fill your bathroom with creams and oils and things that foam, and so long as you heed her advice on how to use them, your face will look better than it ever did back when ladies were still swiping left on your ugly mug.”
All hail the body lotion gods!
Please let us put our hours of scrolling through Pinterest to good use! And please just accept that you do not have a good eye when it comes to decorating!
No your Star Wars poster does not look good hanging above the couch!
Thankfully men are starting to realize we are right about most things!
It’s hard to tell if someone is interested in you. The signs can be misleading…or you could be totally oblivious to those signs.
The person could just be being nice!
Ladies, here’s how you can tell if a guy likes you…
Get ready, it’s pretty scientific.
It all comes down to pizza.
Ohhh really now?!
Yep! They will! Men will eat way more food while trying to impress a girl than when he is with his friends!
According to The Daily Mail, “The study was conducted over a two-week period while researchers observed 150 adults eating lunch at an all-you-can-eat Italian buffet.”
Men actually eat 93% more pizza when trying to impress girls.
So men are trying to show off by eating more? Interesting.
I know how I’m going to win her heart! I’m going to show her that I can eat all this pizza! She won’t be able to resist!
Here’s the irony…
When women are trying to impress a man we eat significantly LESS! WHAT CRAP!
Oh no…I’m really not that hungry…I’ll just have a side salad, but I’ll probably only eat half because I’m dainty and petite and I don’t want you to know that I could eat you under the table and society tells me I just need to eat salads!
Guilty. Been there, done that. It’s not right, I know.
Ladies, you know you’ve had a salad for dinner on a date only to go home and go on a food binge!!
You’re not alone sistas!!!!!!
We’re all just trying to figure out this love thing…find comfort in the fact that while you’re eating the salad you didn’t want trying to make a guy like you…you’ve got mac n cheese waiting for you when you get home. Mac n cheese loves you for who you really are.
We grow up with our parents telling us if we go outside with wet hair we will catch a cold, if we sit too close to the TV we will go blind and a long list of other LIES.
We are all living in a world of lies. Especially when it comes to things we grew up thinking were healthy but actually are not.
Prepare to have your world rocked!
If you go outside with your hair wet you’ll catch a cold?
No. You will not catch a cold, you will BE COLD.
The only way for you to catch a cold is to come in contact with the viruses that cause colds.
CARBS. I’m not about that carb life. Well I am actually all about that carb life…I love all the carbs but I try to not eat them that much. I have the biggest love hate relationships with carbs! THEY ARE THE DEVIL…BUT THEY TASTE SO GOOD!
Well they aren’t actually the devil…eating carbs don’t make us gain weight…eating too many carbs make us gain weight! BUT THEY ARE SO GOOD I WANT CARBS ALL THE TIME!
The key is to go with the whole grain, complex carbs. Yea yea yea it’s easier than it sounds.
We need to bathe in antibacterial hand sanitizer.
I hate this stuff. I only use it if I absolutely have to.
Turns out it works okay…not spectacularly…just okay. Just because it’s ‘antibacterial’ doesn’t mean it kills more germs. It kills the same amount of germs as regular soap and non-antibacterial sanitizers.
Our smartphones are making us SICK!
My iPhone wouldn’t do that to me!
According to The Daily Mail, “Scientists have identified a condition called 'cybersickness', which they say is the digital version of motion sickness.”
“It is caused by seeing fast motion on a screen and covers anything from a car chase in a film to scrolling through web pages on your phone.
The more realistic the visual content is, the higher your chances of getting cybersickness.”
So how does cybersickness work?
“Motion sickness leaves sufferers feeling ill because they feel movement in your muscles and your inner ear but do not see it.
The mismatch in digital sickness is the opposite - you see movement on the screen but do not feel it.”
Studies on cybersickness have found that women are more likely to suffer from cybersickness than men are…and if you’re a Type A person, you’re most likely to get it too!
A type A woman is pretty much screwed!
Just add it to the list of things that is bad for us!
Generally speaking…women LOVE getting involved with the “bad boys”…the emotionally unavailable…tons of baggage…afraid of any kind of commitment.
It’s maddening…but also understandable.
You want to be the girl worth changing for.
Unfortunately, I don’t think they ever really change.
Personally, I have NO interest in bad boys. Been there done that. It’s exhausting!
I really would rather deal with as little drama as possible and think it’s way too much work to try to change someone down to the core of who they are!
I’m just trying to go to brunch with you on Sundays and spend the day watching movies. The less drama the better!
I do not want to snoop through your phone…there’s no way in HELL you’re looking at mine…I don’t want to fight with you every other day… I do not want to do any of the things that come along with these toxic relationships!
Well I may be out of luck…
According to The Daily Mail, “This is according to a recent study of nearly 1,000 heterosexual men and women who showed pathological tendencies such as neurotic behavior and impulsiveness. The study found that certain extremes were tied to success in romantic relationships.”
So maybe the jokes on me!